VIDEO: Christine O'Donnell and Her Anti-Fun Crusade
"I'm a young women in my 30s and I remain chaste."
- Christine O'Donnell, Delaware Republican Candidate for United State Senate
Christine, it is great to know you are chaste and are intent on making sure all other unmarried people stay that way too. However, is that supposed to somehow endear yourself to me, the voter, as you run for one of Delaware's seats in the United States Senate?
Let's see here, according to O’Donnell, not only should we not have sex but also:
-No condoms in High Schools, and less AIDS prevention
-Mike Castle (our well respected and liked incumbent) is "un-manly".
-Beacuse I think evolution exists, my parents must be monkeys (and smell like them, too)
-dabbling in witchcraft with dates on a satanic alter is all in good fun?
If you ask me, no sex, no masturbation, and—if there were to be sex—no condoms just does not sound particularly enjoyable. Aside from the mass upswing in wet dreams, it just seems like this leaves far too much pent up horniness. But that is beside the point - let's take a look at this from another perspective.
Just for fun, let us say that I am a dyed in the wool, hardcore, fiscally (but not physically) conservative Republican. This is otherwise known as the vast majority of Delaware Republicans. A person that fits this description would most likely be very receptive to a campaign based on the message of fiscal responsibility.
However, that is a hard thing to run on when you are being accused of embezzling campaign funds to pay for personal expenses by a generally non-partisan and well respected group, Citizens for Responsibility and Ethics in Washington. This is especially potent considering your long history of personal financial troubles, including the withholding of your degree because you stiffed Fairleigh Dickinson University on tuition. And, as a fiscal conservative, I cannot say I am impressed by the fact that you not only stiffed your university on the tuition, but were sued for the $4,000 in 1994 and the debt was delinquent for nine years until settled in 2003. This is not the way I want my tax dollars managed.
This invites the question - why delinquency? Could it possibly relate to all of the promiscuous partying done in college until junior year when you were "born again?"
Honestly, even if I was a "physical conservative" I am not sure that all of that, "drinking too much and having sex with guys with whom there wasn't a strong emotional connection" really qualifies you to run on the "chastity ticket", even if you supposedly were "born again." And I really do not think that once you have had promiscuous sex, you are exactly qualified to go around bragging about your chastity. Because comments like that start to really sound like lies, something you said you would never do—even if it was to save the life of a Jew you were hiding from the Nazis during World War II.
Aaron Perman, a very concerned (but not actually from Delaware) voter
Reach Reporter Aaron Perman here.
Sign up for Neon Tommy's weekly e-mail newsletter.