We’ve all been there, and whether you like it or not you’ll probably be there again. Now this doesn’t have to be about an ex-boyfriend or girlfriend; it could be an ex-lover, an ex-fling, or even an ex-crush.

The truth is, no matter the level of commitment--its never easy to let go, especially if things end abruptly. While these steps might seem as if they are for the females, I’m confident that the process can be applied both ways.

1. The First Cut is the Deepest

You need to cut yourself off. Being hung up on someone is like being that girl at the party--you’re mopey, no fun and stuck in a rut. So what do you do? Cut yourself off--like an alcoholic; you need to go cold turkey. Take this as far as it needs to go; it can mean a simple week break from his usual social spots, it can mean clearing your BBM chats, and in extreme cases it could mean changing his name in your contacts to “Do not text”--all methods work and all result in a much needed break. 

2. Hit the Town

Now that you’ve taken a break from them, you need to take a break for you. This could be anything; a lunch with your best friends, a hard workout at the gym, a roadtrip, a shopping spree (with a budget!), or any number of distracting, endorphins boosting activities. You do this to take your mind off your obsessive worrying and analyzing but you also do this to take care of yourself. 

3. Guilty Pleasure

You have to find yourself a confidence-flirt. People have trouble with this one but it really is exactly what its sounds like. Go out with your friends, go to dinner--whatever--but while you’re out zero in on someone you want absolutely nothing from. This could be your waiter, a goofy best friend, your friend’s brother--it doesnt matter, just make sure you don’t want anything out of it, that way you can’t go home disappointed. This may seem cruel, but its not, you are simply flirting for the art of flirting--and when they flirt back you feel better. But be careful, there is a fine line between being a cute flirt and being a tease--we don’t want to hurt other people just to help ourselves. 

4. Man-Eater

Now, this is the important one. Try to focus your attention on a number of possible prospects. I say a number because if you put all your eggs in one basket, you’re just setting yourself up for a cycle. These new attention grabbing potentials could be a friend you’ve never thought of like that before, a crush you’ve been joking about for awhile, or even someone you just randomly met at the bar. The key in this step is to just have a free and open attitude, to wake up with no expectations and never go to sleep let down.

5. Okay with the Unknown

If you pay attention to any of these steps, this is the one to remember. Whether this process takes you a month or two or however long, you have to be okay with not knowing. You can’t move from relationship to relationship, so embrace the void, the chaos of single life. Embrace that maybe you and so-and-so will reunite in the future, embrace that maybe you can’t be just friends, and embrace that maybe it was your fault---by embracing these things you can really actually let go. Letting go isn’t cutting someone out, its accepting that they might have a new role in your life--and this step is about being okay with not knowing what that role is. 

To reach staff reporter Tina de la Torre, click here.