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'Jonah Hex': Currently Ripping Off Audiences At A Theater Near You

Ryan Nunez |
June 22, 2010 | 7:52 a.m. PDT

Staff Reporter

Josh Brolin of Jonah Hex (Creative Commons)
"Jonah Hex" could've been one helluva movie if the writers and producers had actually finished it.  
The casting jobs regarding the lead character and the lead villain are spot on.  The casting of one of the hottest and most sought after Hollywood starlets works; the ridiculous way Hex avoids death is surprisingly passable, and the nation-destroying secret weapon that the story revolves around is actually pretty damn cool.  
For reasons unknown, "Jonah Hex" is 81 minutes (including credits; the studio claims 85) of incomplete work assembled as hastily and as well as possible, but "Hex" just can't help but leave audiences wanting more.
Where are the scenes of Jonah as a confederate soldier?  Where is the scene that explains why Jonah knows the gunsmith, played by Lance Reddick, or the scene explaining how Reddick became a gunsmith in the segregated South?  And where is the risqué sex scene with the sultry Megan Fox that Brolin has been talking up all over the interview circuit? 
Jimmy Hayward is the director of this unfortunate Warner Brothers calamity, although it is highly unlikely that the director is to blame for the short and incomplete "Hex."  
Also not to blame for this colossal failure is Josh Brolin, who does his capable best as the leading role, turning in a surprisingly convincing performance as the man who lost it all when he disobeyed a commanding officer's orders.  Brolin easily smoothes over the cheesy lines and brings out the best in the quality ones, and Brolin more than holds his own against heavyweight John Malkovich.
Malkovich plays Quentin Turnbull, the vengeful Confederate commander who sets fire to Hex's family after Hex killed his son and turned "QT" in to authorities. Turnbull then brands Hex and leaves him alive to wallow in his misery, inadvertently setting Hex on a warpath. More Turnbull scenes could also have easily been added to strengthen the film. 
Although no one knows for sure, speculation is rampant that the film runs woefully short due to the involvement of Megan Fox.  Fox seems to be a bit out of her league next to Brolin and Malkovich, but she is wickedly charming as Leila, the prostitute with a heart of stone, unless you're Jonah Hex.  However, her screen time is ridiculously lacking.  Internet gossip has her steamy sex scene with Brolin hitting the cutting room floor to protect her image and to withhold her nudity for a movie that is actually worth a damn.  
Fox has been quoted as referring to her role in Jonah Hex as a cameo, which is as absurd as it is funny considering she is on the poster. In the end, she probably wishes her role was a cameo so her name wouldn't be so closely associated with this incomplete piece of crap. 


 

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