Speculation about LeBron James' free agent status has reached a fever pitch.
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The King and His Treasure

From now until the start of the NBA season the nightly news has an obligation to cover two things: the weather and the latest news on where LeBron James is headed. LeBron is going to be watched and followed as closely as Punxsutawney Phil on Groundhog Day.

If LeBron sees his shadow? Three more years in Cleveland. If he's wearing purple socks, must be the Lakers. Wearing a cloak that seems to resemble failure? Guess he's headed to the Knicks after all. Is that a brick of gold in his back pocket? Must be Denver. Oops, I forgot--he gets that gold no matter where he goes.

NFL Now the Psychological Police
 
Steelers quarterback Ben Roethlisberger has been ordered by NFL commissioner Roger Goodell to undergo a behavior evaluation to determine if he has a psychological problem. This is the latest development in Goodell's evil plot to control every aspect of the game except the score--and he's probably working on that too.
 
Don't get me wrong, Roethlisberger's alleged sexual behavior represents the absolute dregs of society. The man can't seem to keep it in his pants and girls are forced to pay the price for it. Should the NFL punish him for this? Most certainly. But a full behavior evaluation to determine if Big Ben is some kind of sexual deviant? What happens if the evaluator happens to be a prude? Or, better yet, a Browns, Bengals or Ravens fan?
 
The NFL should come up with a punishment that they can mandate, control and institute. Possibilities include a suspension, fines, being forced to wear steel pants bound shut by lock and key, and, of course, the always popular all of the above.

You Won't Like Him When He's Angry

During the Minnesota Twins' series against the Yankees this weekend, Twins manager Ron Gardenhire tried to protect his team's lead by having  pitcher Brian Duensing intentionally walk Yankee first baseman Mark Teixeira to load the bases so Matt Guerrier could come in to face the next batter. That batter happened to be Alex Rodriguez, who clearly didn't like the manager's insinuation that he might be an easier out. Rodriguez let his bat do the talking, proceeding to hit grand slam to give the Yankees the lead and, eventually, the victory.

Next time you may want to read the stat sheet first, Mr. Gardenhire. A-Rod is a perfect 4-for-4 with two home runs and 14 RBIs following intentional walks to Teixeira. Even more mind boggling was Gardenhire's decision to bring in a pitcher to face Rodriguez that the slugger absolutely owns. A-Rod was 4-for-6 with three home runs off Guerrier. Make that 5-for-7 with four  home runs now.  

What the World Cup Is Really About

You've seen the commercials on ESPN claiming to know what the World Cup is about; and if you haven't, you're probably not reading this sports section. The ads are probably the only thing on television that air more frequently than CSI reruns. In the spot--which features a U2 song in the background--Bono lets the audience know that the World Cup's "not about the stock market, black market, orange alerts, green homes, hope, change, fear or loathing." Fine, that's all well and good--although I sure do loathe the hell out of these stupid commercials that have single-handedly destroyed the World Cup for me.

It's when Bono says, "It's not about Communism, Socialism or capitalism..." that I start to have a problem. It's at this point that it becomes evident just how hypocritical Bono and his band really are. The World Cup sure as hell is about capitalism--and it has been since U2 got involved with this tacky commercial, which I guarantee ESPN is paying out the nose for. U2's primary interest in the World Cup is to a) legitimize the band as true soccer fans, and b) make more money than a printing press.
 
U2 has managed to turn everything that is right and good with the World Cup into something wrong by attempting to make their band bigger than the event, which shouldn't be surprising since Bono's ego knows no bounds and his bank account has no limit.
 
Fun fact: while writing this column the commercial aired no fewer than three times. I turned the TV off after the third time for fear of going into a blind rage and throwing the remote through the screen.