David Wright and the New York Mets endured a 20-inning game last week.
(Creative Commons)

Had to be Him

Of course it was Ubaldo Jimenez who pitched the first no hitter in franchise history for the Colorado Rockies. The young starter has emerged as the ace of the staff this season with a terrific 1.29 ERA through three games. Jimenez held the Braves hitless on Saturday--no small feat considering their strong lineup featuring "Albert Pujols Lite" (a.k.a. Jason Heyward). Even more impressive was the fact that Jimenez was still hitting 98 miles per hour on the radar gun in the ninth inning.

So what did the young ace do after achieving this incredible feat? Well, after staying up all night tossing and turning, Jimenez hopped out of bed the next morning and decided to run six miles. Maybe he was angry with himself for not pitching a perfect game.

 
Fight To the Finish

Well, Mets manager Jerry Manuel got that one win he was hoping for during his team's series against the Cardinals, as the Mets outlasted St. Louis in a 20-inning cage match Saturday. I'm not sure whether the Mets should be happy about the victory, or dismayed that it took two position players coming in to pitch against them for New York to finally beat them.

Hey, Mets fans, 20 innings is more than two full games. That's gotta count for something, right?

Sorry, Mr. Manuel. I don't think they'll buy it...

 
A Treatise on Fandom 

A large segment of Yankees fans showed their sheer idiocy on Wednesday by showering starting pitcher Javier Vazquez with boos during his second start of the season on Wednesday. The Yankees traded for Vazquez during the offseason, and while the team's new pitcher hasn't gotten off to a great start, most of the boos were due to fans still holding his performance in 2004 against him.

In 2004, Vazquez broke down in the second half of the season and gave up a back-breaking grand slam during one of the worst moments in franchise history -- the Red Sox's famous comeback in the 2004 ALCS. At the time, the performance instantly started chatter that Vazquez couldn't handle the bright lights of New York, and he was shipped out of town.

When Vazquez rejoined the team, fans and tabloids alike instantly started questioning the move. Would Javier be able to perform? Could he handle pitching in such a high pressure environment? By his second start of the season, the boo birds came out and the tabloids had their anwer: no, Javy couldn't handle New York.

What these people fail to remember is that Vazquez was an All-Star pitcher for the first half of 2004. Unfortunately, he was injured for the entire second half of the season, detracting from his performance.

What's even worse is the fans who say they are booing Javy based on his performance so far this season. The man has made two starts, pitched all of 11 innings, and thrown how many pitches? 200? 250 at the most? That's not nearly a large enough sample to base a sound judgment on.

To make matters worse, fans booed Mark Teixeira and Alex Rodriguez during the same game for their slow starts. Teixeira and A-Rod haven't performed well yet either, but I have a feeling all three of these players can handle New York just fine. In fact, the ones who can't handle New York are you: the fans booing and the writers calling for their heads in the second week of the season. You fail to see the big picture, react too quickly, and cave to peer pressure instantly.

Make no mistake, I am a diehard Yankees fan. I can probably be irrational as well. But I'm not a fan of booing in general; especially not so early in the season. Booing should be reserved for the worst of the worst (see: Bonds, Barry; Papelbon, Jonathan; and Pavano, Carl).

Yes, fans have every right to boo at games. The First Amendment and the price of admission give you the right to make as big an ass of yourself in public as you please. But it also gives me the right to "boo" you via my writing and chastise you for making the Yankee fanbase look bad. So boo.

 
...Followed By an Outraged Plea

Fans of the Philadelphia Phillies are known for their inhospitable, boorish behavior, but this is taking idiocy to new heights. One fan, 21-year-old Matthew Clemmens, was upset that a few of his friends had gotten into trouble earlier for swearing and spitting on other patrons at the stadium, so he went over to the father who complained about their behavior and did the unthinkable. He took matters into his own hands, literally, as the vile beast stuck his finger down his throat and vomited on the man's 11-year-old daughter.

This fan, clearly the absolute dregs of humanity, should be punished, and punished severely. Such an intolerable act should be met with nothing less than an athletically superior athlete climbing into the stands and beating the living hell out of him, like Ron Artest and Stephen Jackson at the Palace.

 
I Guess They Call Themselves the Idiots for a Reason

The Boston Red Sox started calling themselves "the Idiots" a few years ago while the club was in the midst of its championship run. I always thought the name made sense. Now I have proof.

David Ortiz decided to venture out into the entrepreneurial world recently. He opened up a night club in the Dominican Republic called "Forty-Forty." The only problem is that rapper and loyal Yankees fan Jay-Z already has a line of clubs called "40/40."

Since the names are essentially the same, and since Jay-Z is a Yankees fan, he is suing Big Papi for stealing the name. Seeing as he has never had a 40/40 season in his life, and is definitely not threatening one this year, Ortiz has no motive for calling his club "Forty-Forty" anyway, except that Jay-Z already did it. Even worse, the slugger wasn't even creative enough to translate the name into Spanish.

This lapse in creativity is only outdone by closer Jonathan Papelbon, who took bad baby names to an all new level. After his wife gave birth to the couple's second child on Saturday, Papelbon decided to name the boy Gunner. I can only hope this kid lawyers up and sues his dad for all of the harassment he is going to suffer throughout his teenage years.

Maybe the pitcher doesn't know "Gunther" has a "th."

 
Learn How to Hold Your Booze, Man

What is it about owners of sports franchises in Texas and a sheer inability to handle their alcohol? Cowboys owner Jerry Jones recently got hammered at some social event in Texas and said that Tim Tebow will never get on the field in a Cowboys uniform, that the only reason he brought Bill Parcells to Dallas was to sell jerseys, and that Tony Romo was a miracle.

While I'm no Tebow fan, Parcells is not a man I would take swipes at. And the only thing miraculous about Romo is that he can be so good in the regular season yet manage to suck so badly in the playoffs every year.

 
Dome Can Be a Dumb Idea

The talk before the season was about the Minnesota Twins' new ballpark and its lack of a roof. Covered fields aren't without their flaws in Major League Baseball. Yes, they prevent weather delays and rainouts, but they also bring beaucoup problems as well. Tampa Bay's travesty of a ballpark proved that last week.

During the Rays' game against the Yankees on Sunday, Evan Longoria hit a popup that would've been caught by first baseman Mark Teixeira had it not hit a beam hanging above the infield. After it hit the beam, the ball bounced out to second base, and Longoria was rewarded with a single.

Which is worse? Having a field that is subject to cold, wet delays and canceled games during inclement weather? Or turning a stadium into a virtual pinball machine? Bad weather doesn't happen every day, but a defective stadium can affect every game.

 
Race to the Finish

Perhaps race is destined to always be a touchy subject in this nation. Orlando Hudson's recent comments showed us that. The second baseman recently cited racism as the reason that players like Jermaine Dye and Gary Sheffield remained unsigned at the start of this season.

While racism may certainly be at play here, I happen to think Hudson's comments couldn't be further from the truth. Racism? Really? How about unrealistic contract expectations that greatly overvalue your worth as a player?

Jermaine Dye turned down a $3 million offer from the Cubs as well as an offer of an unknown amount from the Washington Nationals. And Gary Sheffield has a long history as a malcontent with his best days behind him. Pair that with the fact that he's an aging slugger who has been connected to steroids and there's no reason to think he'll ever be able to repeat his production from 1999-2005.

Race has nothing to do with it. The only thing that's black and white here is the writing on the wall. Teams are getting better at signing guys for what they are worth. And if you aren't worth anything, they won't sign you.