Most of us, both men and women, have had a broken heart or two...or more. But the big question is how to heal the broken heart. There are several ways to go about it, and the way you end up healing yourself depends on a few factors - the seriousness of the relationship and how both people feel as the relationship ends.  

The easiest situation is if the relationship is short and ends amicably. If this is the case, then you can just call it a wash. You might even feel comfortable enough leaving each other's phone numbers in your phone but won't use them for at least a few weeks. Even though the relationship was short, you still need time to get back to normal, to return to you, as well as time to heal. A mistake I've seen a lot of couples make is becoming the ugly two-headed blob known as the "we" monster. This happens usually in the honeymoon phase, which, personally, I think should not be merely a phase. The "we" monster, however, I can do without. "We" monsters only hang out with other "we" monsters or other less creature-tastic couples. If you have become part of a "we" and now need to get back to the "me" that was you pre-"we," the best way to go about it is to seek out friends, single friends. No need to get right back into the saddle - instead concentrate on just having fun and enjoying the people around you.  

On the other hand, if the relationship is short and ends badly, delete the other person's phone number and don't look back. The relationship ended early for a reason. Keep that reason in mind and cut your losses - you didn't lose that much time and hopefully you learned something about what you like or dislike in a mate. That mental checklist is key!

On to the harder ones to get over, if the relationship is long and ends amicably you must be a little guarded. This situation is tricky and not always as it seems and can actually morph into a long relationship that ends badly! Be aware! Proceed with caution! There is no need to get rid of the other person's phone number, but after a few weeks, if you haven't done so already, remove/untag intimate Facebook photos. You know the kind - that one of you kissing the other person and somehow still managed to take the photo while you were kissing. The reason to wait to take down the photos is because going through them can bring up memories that can be painful, even though the relationship ended well. Take down photos of the other person in your residence, except for maybe one. There's no need for constant reminders. You've moved on. Once again, remember the reason that it didn't work out. I once heard that length of time it takes to get over someone is one week for every month you were together. I'm pretty sure that this isn't true. However, it does help to calculate it out - just so you have some sort of time frame.  If this seems too long or too short, adjust it for your mindset, feelings, and needs - i.e. the holidays are coming up and you need a New Year's kiss! Considering the ex for this position? Bad idea.  

The most difficult situation is if the relationship is long and ends badly. Delete the ex's phone number. Delete all text messages. Put all e-mails into an archived folder. Get rid of tags on Facebook photos. Don't destroy anything - items such as jewelry and clothing should be boxed up and put out of sight. Try to rid your room and apartment of daily reminders of the ex. It feels so good to toss out that toothbrush! This can be hard, especially if the break up was not mutual - this is probably why it ended badly as well. If you were the one who was dumped, you especially need to do this. Daily reminders of a long committed relationship do not help you move on, they only breed feelings of "maybe" and "what if." These feelings play on your self-esteem. Know that you are better off. If someone doesn't want to be with you, there's no way you can make them change his/ her mind. Why would you want to convince someone to be with you!? If you have to convince the other person, he/ she is not worth being with! Slowly ease back onto the dating scene. Make sure you have ample time to heal and if someone falls into your lap soon after your break up, be honest about where you are emotionally. This can be difficult, but if the new person is worth being with, he/she will be considerate. This new person probably doesn't want to be boxed into a rebound situation if there's really something there. Be aware that you don't place them into that category. NOTE: Rebound relationships can be fun and can act as a band-aid for a broken heart, but they are not healthy and are a waste of time if you are at a place in your life when you want serious relationships. Don't waste time with someone who is an obvious bad match.

Take care of yourself. Taking time for you is important - don't become a "we." That's just gross. Also, your other half will be more attracted to you if you still retain who you were when you started dating. Remember to cultivate your friendships even while in romantic relationships. These are necessary relationships to have, especially when those love relationships sour. Broken hearts are hard, but remember that you will heal. There's no need to guard your heart while looking, even if you've been hurt - this will not help your search. Every relationship will end, unless it's the relationship and all the others had to end for you to get to the right one. Doesn't that make you feel a little better?