The other day, I was in line at the CVS in Monterey Park ready to pay for some cat food when I saw the headline: "Tiger Suicidal!" Accompanied with a crying picture of the golfer, the Globe's cover also read "Plus: The Agony of His Beautiful Wife Elin."

Part of me was screaming in my imaginary YouTube video, just leave Tiger Woods alone! Please! He's a human! He has lost all his endorsements! You're lucky he even played golf for you bastards! Leave Tiger Woods alone! Right now! I mean it!

 

Sigh.

Let me be clear and say that I don't usually find myself in a position where I come to the rescue of a man, and this is a far cry from it, but allow me a moment to speak some truth.

When I saw SNL poke fun of Tiger Woods, played by Kenan Thompson, in a sketch where he is getting beat up and abused by his wife Elin Nordegren, played by Gossip Girl's Blake Lively, in a mock press conference, it was like watching a slow and terrible train wreck.

Not only was the skit not really all that funny, but I couldn't help but feel grossly disgusted at the double standard of domestic violence.

Yes, Tiger Woods is a walking STD poster child who needs to learn to keep it in his pants, but his actions don't negate the fact that his wife literally took a golf club to him, chased and scared him half to death to the point where he crashed his own car into a tree, *allegedly.

It wasn't too long ago that Chris Brown took his meaty paws and did the equivalent to his then girlfriend, Rihanna. The physical wounds Rihanna suffered as depicted by the picture leaked by TMZ were severe. When that happened, we were all up in arms, ready and willing to literally hang Brown in a public trial.

 

In numerous Facebook and Twitter posts that I have read since Tiger's cheating went public, women and even some men, are cheering the actions of his wife, saying things like "now he knows better!"

 

Excuse me? Last time I checked, domestic violence was not gender specific.

 

Tiger Woods literally crashed into a tree, and even though he "got away" from his wife's swinging golf club, would we be reacting different if he was in a hospital bed in a comma from a blow to the head?

 

What are the extremes that we are willing to sensationalize this drama? What allows us to say that Rihanna was a victim, but Elin Nordegren, the abuser is also a victim? Because they are both female, fragile, and beautiful?

 

Naomi Wolf, author of "The Beauty Myth" would argue that the very image of beauty is used against women to construct social norms and attitudes about female behavior in the context of patriarchy. Perhaps better understanding notions of power and sexuality would help better explain why we romanticized Rihanna's victimization and criminalized the abuser, Chris Brown, and completely flip the scrip when we idolize Elin Nordegren's "vengeful woman scorn" attitudes and that of her cheating husband, Tiger Woods - who in this case, is the physically abused partner.

 

Needless to say, it's obvious we are a culture obsessed with the pit falls and the poor choices of the rich and famous, but it's problematic when we uphold women to a lesser standard in their role of domestic violence.  There's no excuse for it.

 

And yes, Tiger is a cheating bastard and deserves no sympathy. But what ever happened to tire slashing and good ol' fashion vengeful sex with someone else?

 

Do we really have to beat up the guy with a golf club? And do we really need to listen to all the "I had sex with him too!" stories that are coming out? Frankly, I'm pretty over it - and no, I'm not interested in seeing the we-know-its-out-there-somewhere- sex tape. So what? Who cares! I didn't care for golf before and I'm not going to care for it now.