Alex Rodriguez overcame an injury and an admission of steroids use to help lead the
the New York Yankees to the best record in baseball. (Creative Commons licensed)

...Every New Beginning Comes from Some Other Beginning's End.

Now that the MLB has finished up their 162 163 gauntlet of a regular season and entered the postseason, it's only fitting to look back and recap the wonderful season that was. We'll take it league-by-league, division-by division, so brace yourselves- this could take a while. First up...
 
The Lesser League

I'll certainly feel like an ass calling the National League that if its team wins the World Series again this year. But seriously? Are you honestly going to tell me that the National League is even remotely close to the American League? The American league dominated interleague play this year with a record of 138-114 against the National League, and since interleague play began in 1994 the NL has finished with the better record four times. The AL also continued its dominance in this year's All-Star game, which the NL hasn't won since Bill Clinton was President.
 
In the spirit of inferiority, we'll start with the worst division in the worst league in baseball...
 
The NL Central

Congratulations NL Central- of all three divisions in the National League, you were the only one to have just two teams finish above .500. You're really good at being bad.
 
Stacked Deck

Or at least they were before the playoffs began. The St. Louis Cardinals were clearly the best team in the division, and many believed it was the best in the league. Apparently not the case, but nice thanks for playing.
 
Not only did the Cardinals have superhuman Albert Pujols at first base, making everybody in St. Louis forget the fiasco that was Mark McGwire, they also had two potential Cy Young Winners in Chris Carpenter and Adam Wainwright. On top of that, they also had arguably one of the best managers in the league, Tony LaRussa, and a superb pitching coach in Dave Duncan. All that talent made this play all the harder to stomach for Cards fans across St. Louis....and for Matt Holliday too.
 
Chi-Town Letdown
 
I thought the Cubs were supposed to be good this season, but I guess that's what everybody says every season. They actually didn't look to bad once they finally sent Milton Bradley to the Land of Misfit Toys where he belongs. You wouldn't think that one player could be considered both the  Most and Least Valuable player on a team, but I Think Bradley might be. Think about it- while with the club, he dragged them down like a lead weight. Once lifted, they surged.

Now all they have to do is get rid of Alfonso Soriano, Geovany Soto, and that pesky curse, and they're golden.
 
Go for the Beer, not the Brew

Good Fielder, bad pitching was the Milwaukee Brewers' theme this season. Prince Fielder is an excellent first baseman, won the home run derby this year, and was easily the team's best player. If he ever does anything like this again, however, I think he should be subject to 40 foul tips where it hurts. Without a cup on.
 
They need to get a few good pitchers this offseason, or they are doomed to spend yet another season in the sub .500 club.
 
Big Red Machine Needs Some Serious Grease

Aside from Johnny Cueto, I'm not sure I could have named one player on the Cincinnati Reds team this season without looking up their roster for this column-- and I thought his name had an "N" in it. They need a serious roster overhaul ASAP.
 
Falling Stars

The Astros definitely did the right thing firing Manager Cecil Cooper. He was so bad this season they couldn't even wait until the end of the season to get rid of him. Lance Berkman had a good season, but aside from him, they're in the same position as the Reds -- they need some serious help.
 
This Team Plays Like a...(Quick, Now Hold Your Tongue and Say Pirate Ship)

Just in case, for some reason, you're incapable of making that work, go ask somebody in elementary school what that means. Like just about every other year, the Pirates were simply awful this season. The only thing they seem to be good for nowadays is trading the few decent players they get to the clubs that can actually win ballgames.

On the plus side, the Pirates were nice enough to give all fans in the upper decks a free seat upgrade in a game against the Reds toward the end of the season. The reason? There were only 2,000 people in the stadium. That's just embarrassing.
 
NL Least
 
Champs or Chumps?
 
The Philadelphia Phillies weren't exactly instilling any confidence in their fan base after dropping an ugly game to the Rockies, but now they're moving on to face the L.A. Dodgers in the NLCS for the second consecutive year.

Last year they rode Brad Lidge and his perfect saves record to the World Championship. This year Lidge successfully closes about as frequently as a 7-11. The city of Philly holds its collective breath every time he even gets out of his chair in the bullpen.

Aside from Lidge living life on a ledge, Philly actually has some pretty good pitching, and is somehow managing to get something out of Pedro Martinez. With Howard, Utley, Rollins, Werth, and Victorino, they could easily get to their second World Series in as many years. 
 
Fightin' Fish
 
If Dan Uggla hopes to continue playing for the Florida Marlins, maybe somebody should tell him it's a really bad idea to get into a shouting match with the team's best player. Hanley Ramirez is easily the best player on this team, and may very well be the best shortstop in the league. Actually, the only thing holding me back from anointing him the best is simply the fact that I'm going to continue to insist Derek Jeter is the best shortstop in the league even after he retires.

Some thought they would reach the playoffs this season, and they very well may next year with the good young talent they have.
 
The Cowardly Braves

Had the Atlanta Braves started playing like they cared before the last month of the season, they very well may have made the playoffs this year. In a throwback to the Glavine/Maddux/Smoltz era, the team boasted some excellent pitching this season in Javier Vazquez and Tommy Hanson. Hopefully they'll do manager Bobby Cox proud next year if it really is his last season.
 
Meet the Mess

If Bud Selig had any real gall he would revoke ownership of the New York Mets from the Wilpons and turn the team over to anyone else, as long as they have a pulse and at least some semblance of common sense.

USC's student health center does a better job diagnosing injuries and treating ailments than the Mets medical staff. What kind of incompetent fool does this team employ as their head physician? This guy?
 
The rash of injuries suffered is just one of many embarrassments for the Mets this season. Adding to the list of embarrassments is their center fielder doing his best Herman Munster impression while falling down en route to a fly ball. Their second baseman dropped a pop-up that give their New York nemesis a walk-off win. And the next time the two teams met their closer walked fellow closing pitcher Mariano Rivera with the bases loaded to give up the game-winning running. Rivera had only batted once before in his entire career, but Francisco Rodriguez suddenly found himself unable to throw strikes, and Rivera is now the proud owner of a game-winning RBI.
 
The one bright note for the club this year? ESPN managed to make a hilarious Top 10 compilation of the worst moments for the Mets this season. Other than that, the Wilpons should probably fear for their lives if next season goes like this season did, because fans in New York are already starting to call for heads.
 
National Disaster

First-round pick Stephen Strasburg can't get here fast enough, but even that won't be able to fix the woes of the Washington Nationals.
 
West is Best
 
The NL West sent both the Dodgers and the Rockies to the playoffs, and the Giants nearly made it as well, so they're my pick for best division in the NL this season.
 
Go Big Blue

After playing the last few weeks of the regular season like they had a tee time they had to get to, they're definitely showing up in the playoffs. They've already swept the Cards under the rug, and will move on to face Philly in the NLCS.
 
Juan Pierre stepped up huge after Manny Ramirez' excuse that he was trying to see if men could in fact get pregnant didn't quite fly with the MLB. Now Manny needs to start showing up in the playoffs, cause he certainly wasn't doing much of anything after coming back at the end of the season.
 
Rocky Mountain High

After occupying last place in the division, replacement-manager Jim Tracy marched the Colorado Rockies all the way to the postseason. The club fired manager Clint Hurdle after his terrible 9-28 start, and Tracy and the club haven't looked back since. Even though they lost to a superior Phillies team in the playoff, if Tracy doesn't win NL Manager of the Year, the voting was definitely tainted.
 
Weakest Giants I've Ever Seen

With the incredible pitching of Tim Lincecum, and Barry Zito finally performing like he's realized just how many zeroes there actually are on his paycheck, the Giants would've been a force to be reckoned with if they had anything remotely resembling a competent offense. It was basically Pablo "Panda" Sandoval and that's it.

How ironic is it that after the circus-act that is Barry Bonds finally leaves, the one thing the team needs is a power hitter to compliment the excellent arms they have in their starting rotation? San Francisco's ballclub definitely has a different hero nowadays. It went from a big, bald, chemically-inflated (allegedly) black guy known for his towering homers to a scrawny little pale kid that weighs all of 160 pounds (and 10 of that's hair) known for his cannon arm.
 
San Diego D-List

In a state that sent two teams to the playoffs and had one other that nearly made it, the San Diego Padres should be embarrassed of themselves.
 
No Diamond in this Rough

Aside from Adrian Gonzalez, the Arizona Diamondbacks just don't have many other good players on their roster. In fact, they haven't really since the years of Louis Gonzalez, Curt Schilling, and Randy Johnson (the first time, when he was still young-ish).
 
 
The Big Boys' League

Since the American League is better, we'll start with the best...
 
Beast of the East

Anybody that doesn't readily admit that this division is the best in baseball is a liar. Or intoxicated. Or both.
 
Pie in the Sky

If somebody told you that the Yankees would have their former ace pitcher Chien Ming Wang make only a handful of starts before being put on the DL for the season because of a sudden inability to throw any pitches that can avoid a bat, that the team would lose right fielder Xavier Nady for the season, that Jorge Posada and Jose Molina would both spend a considerable amount of time on the DL forcing the Yankees to plug in a peppy minor leaguer with no prior experience as their backstop, have Nick Swisher actually deliver the best pitching performance of the night for the Yankees during a blowout loss early in the season and STILL finish with the best record in baseball, you would've told them they were more delusional than Joe Morgan, John Sterling, and Chip Caray combined. (Speaking of which, what the hell was TBS thinking of installing Caray in the booth during the playoffs? I demand a paternity test immediately, because there is no way this idiot is really Harry's son. He's forced self-respecting fans across the country to reach for the mute button all series because of his terrible calls during the Yankees-Twins ALCS).

Free agent acquisitions C.C. Sabbathia, A.J. Burnett, and Mark Teixiera have come up big for New York this season. C.C. was the ace he was purported to be, A.J. has great stuff, and Teixeria is one of the best first basemen in the league. Derek Jeter found the fountain of youth, Mariano Rivera is an ageless wonder and Alex Rodriguez actually looks like he's calmed down.

So far, the pieing has continued in the post-season, quite literally after Teixiera hit a solo homer for an extra-inning walk-off win against the Twins Friday night. And now they move on to the ALCS to face the Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim.
 
Boston Buffoons

Slugger David Ortiz gets caught doing steroids the same season as former teammate Manny Ramirez is revealed as a cheater, and then proceeds to go into hibernation for the rest of the season. The Boston Red Sox just got swept by the Angels in the ALDS, and I couldn't be happier that the victory came on a run given up by Boston closer Jonathan Papelbon. There is no individual I hate more than Papelbon. Well maybe one. His childish antics prompt players and sane individuals residing in any other location than Boston to pull their hair out in frustration and wish terrible things upon his right arm and frog-like face.
 
Rays get Bedeviled
 
They sure came out of nowhere last season to win the division and storm into the World Series, didn't they? Well, it looks like they went back there. They better hope they can get Carl Crawford signed to a long-term deal, or he's going to get scooped up by a real contender pretty quickly.
 
Blue Jay Bummer

Remember when they were in first place in the AL East and everybody started jumping on the "they're gonna win the division" bandwagon? Guess not. Roy Halladay is one of the best pitchers in the American League, but it sure looked like those rumors of him being traded messed with his head a little bit.
 
GM J.P. Ricciardi got canned at the end of the season for that whole trade Halladay ordeal, and he's likely to get fired again wherever he ends up if somebody doesn't quickly tell him to stop being so blatantly honest with reporters. Saying that there's no way you can ever win the division is definitely not a great way to inspire confidence from your owners.
 
Orioles Essentially Obsolete
 
The Baltimore Orioles haven't been good since Cal Ripken Jr. was on the team, and that's starting to become a long time ago. They have a lot of young talent, but unless it gels and matures pretty quickly, they're going nowhere fast. Maybe in a different division, in a different league...no, probably not.
 
Wild Wild West
 
On Angels Wings
 
What the Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim have managed to do this season is simply amazing. Manager Mike Sciosia has guided his club through the tragic in-season death of Nick Adenhart and a slew of injuries to key players to win the division and get his team all the way to the ALCS. This celebration after clinching the division was one of the most moving things I've ever seen on a baseball field. (Although I feel I should point out that it was a drunk driver responsible for Adenhart's death, so the champagne and beer celebration on his picture...probably not the best idea).
 
Texas Two-Step

The Texas Rangers nearly secured the Wild Card because for the first time in years, they actually have strong starting pitching. Owner Nolan Ryan and pitching coach Mike Maddux are a match made in heaven. Unfortunately the club couldn't muster enough offense to make it past the Sox and get into the playoffs.
 
These Mariners Lost at Sea

Aside from Ichiro Suzuki and "King" Felix Hernandez, this team really just doesn't have many bright spots on its roster. They did a lot more than many expected, and could be good next season if they make the right moves in the offseason.
 
A's Don't Get a Passing Grade

Somebody needs to tell GM Billy Beane that his little "Moneyball" theory is not working, cause the Oakland A's were simply atrocious this season. They had no hope of contending. None.
 
Cellar Dwellers

You have to love the symmetry, the NL Central is the worst division in the National League, the AL Central is the worst on the American side. Just like their National League counterpart, the AL Central was the only division to have just two clubs finish above .500.
 
Twin Killing

Well they used to be a Twin Killing, when the Minnesota Twins had both Joe Mauer and Justin Morneau in the lineup everyday. Morneau spent the end of the season on the DL, yet the Twins still managed to crush the Tigers in the last game of the season. Unfortunately the Yankees steamrolled them, and now the lights go out at the Metrodome forever (for baseball at least).
 
Terrible Tigers
 
The Detroit Tigers had a huge lead in the division heading into the final stretch of the season. There's no way they could blow it, right? Wrong. The Tigers not only managed to lose their way to a tie with the Twins for the division, they proceeded to lose their playoff game against the Twins to fall into second place.
 
Schizophrenic Sox
 
The Chicago White Sox were one confusing bunch this season, and not just because of the statements made by manager Ozzie Guillen. They were in it, out of it, made a trade as if they were in it, and then were out of it again (it being a race for the playoffs). It's like they were doing the hokey pokey minus the shaking.

Ozzie Guillen has got to be every reporter's best friend with the outrageous statements he utters. After telling the owners he feels like he's stealing their money because of how poorly the team is playing, he goes off on this tirade in front of reporters after walking into the locker room and seeing the players watching college football:

"Do they think the season's over for them? Yes. If they think the seasons over for me, no. And I'm going to make it clear. It's a bunch of (expletives) out there watching football games like a piece of (expletive) with no pride in the way they (bleeping) play, and that's embarrassing. I'm not in a pennant race, but at least I have some pride. When you go out there and you turn your TV on and watch stupid-ass football when those (bleeping) football players don't give a (expletive) about you, that's embarrassing."

Ozzie is easily the most entertaining manager in the Major League.
 
Cleveland Collapse

This team used to be good. Somebody needs to remind the now-fired manager Eric Wedge that trading away Cy Young Winners is not a good way to put together a winning ballclub.
 
Royal Pain

How amazing was Kansas City Royals starting pitcher Zach Greinke this season? It will be really cool to see this kid play in a few years after he gets traded to a good team.

 
Enjoy the playoffs everybody. We've already seen our fair share of great plays and exciting plays. Here's to hoping they continue. Especially for the Yankees. (Guess you know who my favorite team is, now don't you).