I think that there must have been a man meeting that happened at some point last year and I definitely was not invited. Am I surprised? No. Men do not ask for directions, why would they ask for advice about one of the singular most important days of their lives!? Well, they didn't ask for it, but here it is: rules for picking out an engagement ring.

Oh, the sparkler - the crystalline jewel that perches itself so perfectly upon the fourth left finger. What used to mark a crowning achievement instead of a cap and gown in days of yore has now become commonplace. That's right. Commonplace. Diamonds are supposed to be rare, different, special, even slightly imperfect - only slightly, though.

There are now genetically engineered diamonds. And while I'm not a fan of a small child running through the jungle and being killed for the sparkler I might wear, I also want the diamond that has my name on it not to be made in a lab. By some guy.  

I think that there are two things that a guy has to think about when thinking about getting down on one knee: 1) which knee to kneel down on and 2) his girlfriend.

(P.S. I am by no means suggesting that only a man and a woman can get engaged and exchange rings. I am merely referencing the instances that have troubled me regarding ring purchases - none of these instances involved a same-sex couple.)

I am kidding about the knee. The two things that a man should be thinking about when preparing to purchase an engagement ring are: 1) his girlfriend and 2) his girlfriend. A man must think about whether or not he will still have a girlfriend if he does not bring her along with him to pick out the ring and he must also ponder what he knows she will like. At this point in the game he should know her taste.  

Personally, I would be more than insulted - let's go with pissed - if my soon-to-be fiancé brought me into a store and told me to help him choose. NUH-UH. However, my best friend who got married almost a year ago would have been a little nonplussed if her man had not consulted her. He wanted to surprise her, but knew that she would have had a fit and so they went ring shopping together. This is why their marriage is off to a good start!

If a man does go with a surprise, he not only needs to think about how to do it - we'll save that issue for another time, but I must say that guys tend to do pretty well with this part - but he also needs to think about her tastes. This is also the first challenge that they do not work on together. I must report that I am a little miffed that every man out there today thinks that his girlfriend wants the same ring - the signature Legacy trademarked-for-Tiffany & Co. cut with either pavé diamonds on the platinum band or a diamond band. If I have to fake one more "gasp! It's beautiful!" I am going to barf on that next girl's hand. Not everyone wants the diamond that her best friend got and her sister and her second-cousin-once-removed and... you get the idea.  

Also, not everyone wants a diamond. I have friends that have received pink sapphires and been thrilled! I would not be, but that's me. It all comes down to this:  we must remember that a relationship cannot be bought and tied with a bow and put into a coveted teal box. It is imperfect and fragile and organic. The thought that goes into purchasing an engagement ring cannot be purchased. So guys, take your time. You finally found the right girl. Now you know how to find the right ring - just look at her.