He was sitting across from me, across from me in my home, my parents' home, eating dinner. He's gorgeous, minus the fact that his chipped tooth doesn't seem to balance out his freckles anymore...athletic build, seemingly intelligent (i.e. his brain cells seemed to be synapsing and he could still string a few words together). At one point he was also seemingly interested...in me. But that was somewhere between 8-10 years ago. That's right, the eternal crush, the one that got away, until my mother caught him and plunked him down right in front of me, was sitting across from me, eating dinner, in my home.  

I was, of course, seated next to his grandparents and parents. That's right, everyone was in town for the show - tickets courtesy of my mother.  

There's something about crushes that can turn you right back into the 12-year-old that you were when the crush first slammed down on you like a cement truck, but there's a new phenomenon that I've discovered: bettering the crush. I finally realized that's he's not good enough for me. The one that got away is too conservative for my "bleeding-heart liberal politics" and he also thinks that flowers are frivolous. Guess what, boys? They're not. As my sister puts it: "flowers say 'I'm sorry' and candy says 'I love you.'" If you take a girl out on Valentine's Day and you do not buy her flowers - and no, they do not need to be roses, unless you're dating Miss Prissy Pants - she's going to feel less than when she talks to her friends who all got flowers. Even if all of her friends are single and no one got flowers, err on the kinder side and even a single daisy will put a spring in her day-after-Valentine's-Day water cooler convos and possibly get you a second date...or at least maybe her friend's number.

After going back-and-forth for the last few weeks about my long distance relationship, this dinner sealed the deal. The current beau is pretty great. Maybe it sounds bad that it took a boy from my past to convince me that the current man is worthy of my time, affection, long-distance minutes, and obsessing about when orbitz.com is going to find me a better price on a plane ticket, but truth can come in funny forms.

While my sisters (and mother) still think that "Freckles" is "totally hot," I have outgrown him.  I'm better looking than he is. I'm more driven and better educated and not totally "selfish" or only seeking relationships that are "convenient" - his words. He's not ready to settle down, fine. He's 26, he's got time, and a gaggle of stupid girls worthy of his moronic droll tripping over themselves just to get a glimpse of him as he drives by in his new Volvo, or was it a VW something...I was too busy checking a text from the beau to notice the make. I am sorry, though, for Freckles' current pint-sized snack, she won't be receiving flowers for Valentine's Day (or any other day, for that matter).  

At some point, you have to look in the mirror and see yourself for what you are and like it.  At some point, you have to realize that it's not about looks - it's about compatibility and passion.  If you want to settle down now or in 3-5 years, then take note, if your significant other doesn't, he or she doesn't. That's fine, but just stop beating yourself up and stop trying to fit the square peg into the round hole. That's right, stop trying to make it work because it just doesn't. Be alright with that and have the courage to walk right up to your mother or significant other or your editor or anyone who asks and tell them that you're better than that. Ask for what you want. It just might get served up.

And Mom, thanks for dinner. The enlightenment was delicious.

Paige S. Morrow is the pseudonym of our mysterious relationships columnist who lurks among the student body at the Annenberg School of Journalism. Her real identity will be revealed at the end of the '09-'10 school year.