Jose Canseco spoke about his steroid days and addressed challengers at Friday's
event at USC. (©John Adams)

Once one of the most menacing hitters to stand in the batter's box of a major league baseball game, Jose Canseco stood before a meager crowd of 175 to exorcise his inner demons by revealing the truth of his and other players' steroid use.

"Back then when I played, [steroids] were part of the culture and part of the lifestyle. We were all doing it and it was no big deal," explained Canseco to the mostly college-aged crowd at the Bovard Auditorium on the campus of University of Southern California.

The lecture was arranged by the USC Undergrad Student Government Program Board to focus on a pop-culture platform with a sports angle. The recent discussion of steroids in baseball (specifically the admission of steroid use by Alex Rodriguez and the list of 104 players who tested positive in 2003) gave the board reason to invite Canseco to share his knowledge of baseball and steroids.

"We thought Jose could really shed some light on the industry by being a insider, knowing these players and by giving a candid and engaging lecture," said Leela Veeravalli, a student member of the program board.

It has been eight years since Canseco donned a major league jersey, but his name and impact on the game won't go away. In 2005, he published the first of two tell-all books, "Juiced: Wild Times, Rampant 'Roids, Smash Hits & How Baseball Got Big," that shook the foundations of baseball and prompted congressional hearings on steroid use in MLB. Since then, Canseco's life and career drastically changed.

"I have been completely blackballed from baseball. I couldn't go outside my house because people wanted to fight me," said Canseco. "I received death threats and even my family has been threatened. It has cost me so much I guess sometimes certain truths are better kept quiet."

Canseco throughout the night spoke candidly to the audience about his early career and his decision to take steroids much to the delight of those in attendance. However, during the question-and-answer time a college-aged man stood and began taking verbal shots at Canseco.

"You cowardly try to shed responsibility for your actions as you try and bury the hatchet," said the man as he walked toward the stage.

Canseco responded with a chuckle and said, "I have been threatened with guns and with death threats, but you definitely can't harm me mentally. So next time, make sure you come prepared with your arguments or don't come at all." And with that the USC security guard ushered the man out of the auditorium.

A subject that intrigued most audience members was the list of the 104 players who tested positive in 2003. Some asked about who was and who wasn't on the list while others inquired if the list would ever be made public. No matter the question, Canseco shared his opinions.

"Manny Ramirez is one of the best all-around pure hitters the game has ever seen, whether it be power, average, RBI, or slugging. He is also the worst outfielder in baseball," said Canseco when asked about the Dodger slugger. "His name is most likely, 90 percent, on this list."

"Once the list comes out, we are all going to be amazed at who these athletes and players are."

Canseco didn't limit his discussions to other players who he believed to be steroid users, but he also shared the reasons he began using performance enhancing drugs.

It was after two subpar years in Rookie ball and Single-A that Canseco received an urgent call from his sister informing him that his mother was seriously ill and in the hospital. He left the Modesto A's where he was playing, and rushed home to see his ailing mother.

"I walked into the hospital room where my mom was connected to all these machines. My sister told me that my mom was brain dead. And right there, I promised my mom that I was going to become the best baseball player in the world," explained Canseco. "A month later, a friend named Rick introduced me to steroids. I figured I had nothing to lose because my mother just died, and I was going to do anything possible to keep my promise to my mother."

Within the year, Canseco had bulked up and began setting records in homeruns and homerun distances, and was quickly touted as the next savior of the Oakland A's. He made his way through AA, AAA and then to the majors, and received the Rookie of the Year honor in 1986.

Two years later and still taking steroids, Canseco had reached the pinnacle of his profession as he won the top honor that he promised his mother, Most Valuable Player.

When asked if he thought his mother would have approved of how he achieved that honor Canseco responded, "I don't know. I think I had the best intentions of doing things the right way but maybe I didn't take the right route."

"In today's age, if I had the choice to do steroids or not I definitely would not," added Canseco. "It wasn't worth it for me. I think steroids, in a way, destroyed my baseball career. They undermined everything I ever accomplished."

Canseco's honesty connected with many in the audience including Gabriel Apodaca, a fan of Canseco, who described the homerun hitter as "A superhero. A machine. A robot." However, after listening to Canseco he reflected, "He is still a machine and robot but you look at things different." He agreed that the night "humanized him a little bit," and he now believes Canseco couldn't have accomplished all that he did without the aid of steroids, which is a question that Canseco wrestles with also.

"Looking back, I wonder what I could have accomplished without steroids. I will never know."