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Green Eggs And Slam

Kevin Patra |
March 2, 2009 | 9:13 p.m. PST

Staff Writer
The Birth of Fun

On the horizon is the setting Sun

Calling to be the amusement and fun

Which arose from ashes of 2003

To be a model for all; the league's envy.

The goal: to run, entertain and outscore,

Leaving behind the defense and the bore.
Seven seconds or less and they would shoot

Off a make or a miss, they could give a hoot,

They dashed up and down the court all night long

To the screaming delight of the wild throng.

Defenses could just gnash their teeth and grieve

After losing to a white boy named Steve.

Nash's superb play left one inquiry:

Could a Canadian win M-V-P?

The voters said, "Yes!" two years in a row,

That's how much they liked his style and flow.

But all the hoopla, scoring barrages,

Were nothing more than wishful mirages.
Their spiffy new style still had the same trend

Defeat to the grinding Spurs was their end.

The Beginning of the End

Steve Kerr was brought in to slow the run,

And of course two Steves are better than one.

To win in the playoffs, so goes the thought,

One must defend, or his work is for naught.

So Kerr sent disgruntled Matrix to pack,

And brought to the desert one great big Shaq.

The thought was good, his head in the right place,

Except that it blew right up in his face.

The Big Fella, not what he used to be

Struggled to fit with the fast and the free

(Plus he was never known for his defense.

But shhh, quiet, we can't make too much sense.)

The contrast in styles too much to take

GM and coach said they needed a break.

A new beginning and a fresher start

Could happen after the coach's depart.

D'Antoni left for a greener New York;

Porter brought in to add defensive torque.

The players cheered and agreed to defend
If championships were won at that end.

The year started off well: four wins, one loss,

But defeats mounted, and they blamed the boss.

He was too tough, too mean, too arrogant

They wanted a renege, an un-supplant.

They liked the old way, defense is too hard

Especially when you actually guard.

Players pouted and moped, acted the fools;

Coach didn't help, ignoring his best tool.

Nash frustrated, his faith began to fall

And played the last month like on sabbatical.

As goes the maestro, so goes the whole team,

As beautiful plans turn nightmarish dream.

Fadeaway

Another change made to the coaching seat-

One more victim for this revolving beat-

Attempting to salvage a lost season

And appease players; no other reason.

A chance for the maligned Alvin Gentry,

To prove he was an unlucky sentry

In his jobs in both Detroit and LA,

And to Suns he will provide a new ray.

One-hundred forty points in his first game

Back to the old style, but oh what a shame

That down went Amare right off the bat,

Even a thousand points can't conquer that.

And so another year might be long gone,

In the desert where all the fun was spawned.

And as the team begins to break apart

One by one leaving with a hollow heart,

We can only look back and wonder why,

The fun was destroyed by that Duncan guy.

This piece originally appeared on Kevin's blog, The Sports Union.



 

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