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Hear Me Out: Youtube Is Helping Men Be More Romantic

Emily Henry |
February 16, 2009 | 9:57 a.m. PST

Columnist

© Emily Henry

I was banished from my apartment on Valentine's Day afternoon. For two and a half hours I sat in Coffee Bean reading The Watchmen and sipping a Chai Latte. Finally, my phone twinkled with a text message: You can come home now! ;)

As I walked down the hallway toward my apartment, soft, gentle piano
chords floated toward me. I pushed my ear to the door and smiled. I had
no idea what I was in for. I knocked tentatively and twisted the door
handle.

Inside, the living room was awash with candlelight and Brad Mehldau's
jazz instrumentals. A heart-shaped box of chocolates sat on the coffee
table. A trail of rose petals invited me to the bathroom where, just
like thousands of romantic moments ingrained in movies and TV shows,
the bath was full of bubbles, a glass of pink champagne resting on the
ledge. My fiancé, meanwhile, was in the kitchen adding the final
touches to the green Thai curry he had made. From scratch. With fresh
basil.

Even I don't use fresh basil.

He had chopped onions and peppers with masculine precision. The kitchen
was perfumed with herbs. He told me to soak in the tub until dinner was
ready, so I took my chocolates and indulged myself. As I lay there in
bubbles, sipping pink champagne and eating a dark chocolate truffle,
surrounded by rose petals and fragrant candles, I couldn't help but
wonder... How did my work-a-holic, video-game playing, old school boy's
boy become a romance connoisseur?

Later that night I had the answer: YouTube.

In his own words, "Men have romantic ideas but don't know how to
implement them. The Internet accelerates the process of learning how to
be romantic. So you can have an idea, study for a little while, and
then execute." His explanation, which sounded more like the fighting
talk of a tactical RPG, made me realize that Youtube is the perfect
instrument for helping men "execute" romantic maneuvers. He had never
chopped an onion before, or bought candles, or sprinkled rose petals,
or run me a bath. And yet with the help of a few "how to" videos, he
had managed to bring to life a romantic's vision of the perfect
Valentine's Day.

For the meal, he had researched a dish we both love and watched a
video. In preparation, he had learned how to chop an onion, thanks to
YouTube's "How to Chop an Onion." For the bathroom escapade, he had found a clip from one of my favorite Sex and the City scenes (Aiden creates a candlelit bubble bath for Carrie),
remembering that I had once idly commented: "I would love it if you did
that for me," while consuming my regular dose of late-night SATC
nutrition. He had wondered what to do with the shower curtain,
consulted the clip again, and taken it down.

That, I feel, is the best use of YouTube I have ever seen.

It might not work for everyone, but I happen to be engaged to a guy who
gets confused by abstract ideas and likes to learn the specifics of
things. I tend to learn from cumulative experience, while he prefers
instruction.

When I cook, for example, I throw a bunch of ingredients together and
see what turns out. I don't measure things, and I don't follow recipes.
But when I'm away, I leave detailed cooking instructions that differ
from what I might write down for a practice cook. One such recipe,
which I have named "Boy Spaghetti," details not only ingredients, but
specific methods of preparing those ingredients (such as how to stir,
how to break up ground meat etc), the utensils and pans required, and
diagrams of items or methods that might not be clearly recognized. I
realized that instructions that might seem self explanatory to me, such
as "drain the peas," require more details for the man in my life. I
need to tell them how to drain the peas, which alien kitchen utensil
they need, and how to use it. This isn't always the case, but unless a
guy was deeply involved in the culinary procedures of his childhood
kitchen, I assume that he is unfamiliar with the things now instinctual
to me after 12 years of cooking.

The same rule applies to romance. For me, romance comes naturally, by
instinct. He, however, prefers planning and preparation. So rather than
replacing his creative sentimentality, YouTube actually enables him to
act on it more spontaneously. He gets the idea or remembers something
I've hinted at, and YouTube shows him how to do it. Of course, trying
to be "romantic" by following videos doesn't work by itself. It
requires romantic sentiment, creativity and a good memory. Behind all
great romantic gestures is a man who wants to make his girl happy;
couple that with a few instructional videos and you've got the perfect
recipe to make any evening a "party for two."

"Boy Spaghetti" (verbatim)

1. Cut a quarter of the meat out from the tray of ground turkey (on the
bottom shelf in the fridge.) Put it on a plate. (Diagram) Place tray of
ground turkey in a Ziplock bag and put it on the bottom shelf in the
fridge.
2. Fill the yellow pan with water and set it on the hob (full flame). Wait until it starts to boil.
3. Take the spaghetti pasta out from the cupboard (top shelf.) The
amount you need should feel roughly the size of a beer bottleneck.
(Diagram)
4. Break the spaghetti in half and put it in the boiling water.
5. Add a teaspoon (smallest spoon in the drawer) of oil (labeled
"Vegetable Oil" on middle shelf in cupboard) to a frying pan and put it
on the hob.
6. Add the quarter of ground turkey to the frying pan. Use the wooden
spoon (third drawer to the left) in "chopping" motion as the meat
starts to cook. You need to keep breaking up the meat as it cooks and
turns brown. (Diagram)
7. When the meat is brown (no red), add the tomato sauce (in a jar
labeled "Ragu" in bottom cupboard. Less than half the jar should be
enough.)
8. Stir the tomato sauce with the meat until it is hot and completely mixed together.
9. After 10 minutes, check to see if the pasta is cooked. Take a piece
out with a fork and taste it. If it is soft, not chewy, then it is done.
10. Drain the pasta using the colander (white bowl with little holes in it - bottom cupboard) over the sink.
11. Put pasta on your plate. Add meat/tomato sauce mixture to the top.
Add cheese (grated, in fridge door.) Put cheese back in the fridge.
12. Enjoy!



 

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